if you can't handle my PINKNESS, then you shouldn't be here

if you can't handle my PINKNESS, then you shouldn't be here
loves all things pink


My photo
I live life enjoying as much as possible by enjoying the outdoors, savouring dinner with the family, having fun with friends, or seeing my little sister smile. I understand the value of a penny and that hard work pays off. I am very ambitious and driven and have set goals for myself to achieve. I can be very serious but yet I have a fun personality to have a good time. I feel that life is a huge journey and the key to a successful life is to live in the moment and not dwell on the past! i am an optimist. I'm a hopeless romantic and a dreamer. I love to just go outside and contemplate life while I feel the breeze in my hair and the sun kiss my cheeks! I hope to travel the world one day because there is so much beauty to see in the world. i get bored easily(something i'm not proud of). I am a huge roller coaster and adrenalin junkie and I just love life! i'm a great public speaker. i'm a person who tries to be the best i can be. :D i am also a feminist. a HUGE fan of oprah winfrey. lastly, i'm going to be a history maker.

Friday, 21 December 2012

Feelings are real

Your feelings are real and valid. Why should you have to justify it in any way?
For example, you're hurt that your friend is drifting apart from you and you try to feel better about yourself by thinking of the situations where you could have had it worse. You're only dealing with it in a way where you don't have to face it, and someday it is going to come back, because you can't hide from it.

To be angry when your husband cheats on you.
To be hurt when a stranger calls you fat.
To be disappointed in someone you relied on.
To feel weighed down by all the workload you have.

It sucks when someone tells you that you shouldn't feel a certain way, or if you should be grateful you're not in a worse condition. Isn't that the very essence of being human? To feel?
To love, to hurt, to cry, to be disappointed, to be messed up inside, to be confused, to laugh? 
Doesn't that just make you human? One that is well and functional?
If you were to justify all your emotions, what would be the difference then? You wouldn't be able to tell happiness from sadness then. Everything would be numb and monotonous. 
That's not life. Life is suppose to throw you down then build you up and you're suppose to feel every single bit of it because they are your feelings and you have the right to it.

By suppressing your feelings, you're not doing any justice to yourself. You want to get better? Feel it, embrace it. Allow yourself to build that compassion for yourself. Usually when you allow yourself to feel the pain and sadness, it will pass by faster than when you don't.
If you would like to comfort someone, you should never ever deny or justify their feelings. It may seem insignificant to you, but it means the world to that person. 

Know that your feelings are real, valid and reasonable. 

The sky

The sky makes me feel safe. That security and sobriety I need in my life to remind me that it is beautiful, life. It isn't as cruel as depicted. What we have will always be a small fraction of what's beyond that sky. It is humbling, really. And that's what I need, humility. I think that's what we all need, we've gotten caught up and arrogant with our money and our technology that everything is moving too quickly.

Everything is moving too quickly. As the end of the year approaches, I can't help but think of how well I've spent the year. I did not even have resolutions! 

Flashback throughout the year. I remember the first day of 2012 very well. I was with family and friends. I wouldn't have had changed a thing. 
I learnt how to drive. That's a life skill I'm going to use for the rest of my life. Then I'd gotten my SPM results. Still cannot forget the look of pride my parents had when I'd received it. I will never ever forget that look. It's these little things that I remember, you know.
I learnt how to live on my own when I'd started college. No parents, new friends, new environment. That was my first college. Before I'd gotten into KYUEM.
And that was in UCSI. It was alright, I'm pretty grateful for that experience. 
If there's one thing I learnt from that was that that was not the life I wanted to live. Living in the big city, living all alone, living in fear. Yes, it was lonely. If it wasn't for GEP Church and Pastor Jacob, I wouldn't have had survived that. 

Then came KYUEM. One of the best things to EVER happen in my life. You want a quality education/life, KY is THE place. The best college around. I'm not talking about the wonderful teachers or the prestige it holds, I'm talking about the friends I've met in college. I am ever grateful for that. I'm more comfortable in my own skin thanks to these people! You know who you are. :)

I would say that it has been an eventful year. I wouldn't change a thing. 2012 is definitely a year to remember. 2012 changed me. 
I made my transition to adulthood(sort of) in 2012. This is the year where friendship flourished.
Sadly, this was the year I lost my grandma too.
I really do wonder where she is now, and if she's watching over us. I do take comfort in the fact that I will join her someday.

She is watching me, from beyond that sky.

Sunday, 9 December 2012

Pringles is just really expensive poppadom

Home doesn't feel like home anymore. It is true what they say, once you're out of home, you can never truly come back home as the same person.
I'm not the same person anymore. I've changed, I've grown. I can't be treated like the same person anymore. I'm an adult now, I'm as capable as most adults now. I'm not trying to grow up too fast or anything like that, I'm just asking to be treated like a mature, capable-of-making-a-decision human being. 

Heck, even if I wasn't an adult, I would want to be treated the same way, you know? 

This is the thing with adults, they can't seem to accept the fact that the younger generation might be capable of maturity. 

So what is it with the Pringles?
Yeah, it just dawned me that Pringles is actually really expensive poppadom.
At home we have chutney like all the time. The chutney is always there. The poppadom too.
And I love my chutney with poppadom  Unfortunately I finished up all the poppadom yesterday. And then I spotted the Pringles. So I had my chutney with Pringles.

Yes, I'm weird that way. I have weird food combinations. I had my oats the other day with kaya. It was surprisingly better with kaya.
Heck, everything is better with kaya, man! I also had my oats with chocolate milk the other day(i suppose that isn't so weird).
I've also had chocolate with kaya and strawberry jam before. :B
Weird food combinations are awesome! They test your imagination and push you to try the unexpected. :D
Now will you please excuse me, I believe I spotted some Toblerone and ice cream in the fridge just now.

Peace out, y'all! :)

Monday, 3 December 2012

No, you're not doing it right with women's rights. feminism is much needed!

In conjunction with International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women which was on the 25th of December(yes, I'm rather late. Better late than never, no?), I am here to not only rant about how our Malaysian government is not doing right, but to also suggest some reforms that we might perhaps consider.
So you see, I'm a visionary ranter! Ha. Genius.

First I would like to address what Najib said about how our country does not need a women's rights movement. 
Let me just remind you that in the history of Malaysian women's rights, it wasn't the government that fought for justice, no, it wasn't the government that fought for equality and reforms. 
Yes , it was our women's rights movements! 
To say that we'll do without them shows how arrogant and ungrateful you are towards what we have turned into today, and do I smell some male chauvinism here? (ah no! I was exaggerating on that part. Don't mind me, I'm a little over-dramatic at times.)
Also, you said at the Women's Day Celebration, "In some developed countries, the men were allowed to vote before women but, in Malaysia women had the right to vote from the start. Don't think that everything is better(in the developed nations) as we are way ahead especially in terms of women's rights."
Dearest Mr. Najib, are you implying that we as women should be grateful that we had the right to vote when it was rightfully ours? Why should we be satisfied with just that? Malaysia, you are not perfect, stop pointing out the one actual good thing you have and ignoring all the flaws, that is arrogance. That statement is insulting to other countries and reflects upon our arrogance. How many times have I used the word arrogance? Gosh I need a new synonymous word. I cannot believe you would settle for that much when it comes to women's rights and not go all the way, to strive to be the best!
Malaysia, let me remind you, we have a long way to go before achieving equality. You think we are achieving progress? Well yes, but at a snail's pace my fellow Malaysians, and I will expose why in this blog entry.

Also Mr. Najib, you are not a woman. Please give up the post as Minister of Women, Family and Community Development! You cannot take on that role unless you are truly, actually a woman. You will never understand us, never, Najib. Give it up please, to a capable woman. We already have enough men in the Senate with just two women(correct me if I'm wrong, I've been rather outdated on the politics lately, but I'm doing my catching up now that the 13th General Election is around the corner, so exciting!). 

Well, now, time for some reformation.
Do visit the Ministry of Women, Family and Community Development's webpage.
Now, at the bottom of that page there is an online poll. The question states "The ideal marriage age for a woman is:" And then they go on to state 15-20, 20-25, 26-30,31-35 years of age as the choice of answers. I am deeply insulted by this. I am 18 years of age and to think that the one of the choices for the "ideal" marriage age falls in 15-20 years. NO, just no okay. At this age we need empowerment, education! Not marriage. Also, as a (rather radical) feminist, I am deeply insulted because they didn't give "never" as a choice. Assuming that women will marry and enslave their lives to marriage? Yes, marriage might work for some people, but what about for people (like me) who don't believe in marriage and that marriage is just a wicked institution that enforces patriarchy? 
OH GOOD LORD. Please, if you want to start somewhere, start by changing your mentality! Patriarchy is wrong in every aspect and it only enhances superiority in men. 
Malaysia! Please no. As soon as babies are born they are given their father's name. No Malaysia no! Shouldn't we have a choice?? 
The father is NOT the head of the family. No! We have both the father and the mother working an institution, both are leaders in their respective areas. Marriage is a partnership! Stop this mentality, dear Malaysians! 
Well, I'm afraid my argument has gone rather emotional, I need an objective perspective on this issue, but it is just so difficult because it is so dear to me, this issue on equality.

In an ideal world where equality exists, both parents will be taking care of their children, not assuming that a mother's role is childcare. There wouldn't be advertisements where the tagline says "Mothers, if you want the best for your babies, Spotty Nappy Rash Cream is the way to go!" I would be rather insulted as a man not to be included in the upbringing of my own child.
If we were in an ideal world, mothers would have longer maternity leaves, the same amount of time given to the father, so that the baby's first few formative months are touched with love and care from both sides. EQUALLY. In an ideal world, mothers would be allowed to breastfeed whenever and wherever she would like to. There is nothing shameful with breastfeeding, it is society that is messed up and evil. In an ideal world, if parents cannot afford enrolling their kid to private nursing homes before resuming work, government based nursing homes would take on that role. If parents still refuse to let childcare be taken over by strangers, their workplace would be enhanced with play areas for kids with working parents so that mothers never ever have to choose between her career and her child. NEVER EVER. That is an ideal world. An ideal world is never assuming that some women DO NOT WANT children(like me!)(yes, just because I have a uterus doesn't mean I want a child in it.)

Dear Najib, with a picture of what a feminist's ideal world looks like, I hope you are able to build a society around this, or at least something close enough. Because Malaysia, with the headlines you've been making about statutory rape and whatnot, you are nowhere near equality, especially with such things as women's parking areas, women's coaches, etc etc.

Why do we always work on keeping women safe and not in fact making the environment safe for her? Heavier punishments for women offenders, the importance of equality in our textbooks, the shift in mindset of Malaysians that we are equals! Why do we in fact work on "protecting" our women. Oh don't wear this or you'll attract some random man who will rape you and chop you into little pieces. Oh don't go there at night because it is unsafe. Oh don't do that or you might offend someone.
Men have lust, so what? Learn to control it. The very fact that you need to control women and deem them as submissive because of your lust, sort of insults you. It shows that you're a sex maniac and that all you can think about is your lust. Doesn't it show how impure your mind is? If you're looking at it from a religious point of view.

*sigh* but who am I ranting this to? To the society? Hopefully this puts some sense into some male chauvinistic pigs and women who claim feminism isn't important. Feminism is the notion that women are humans too. If you're striving for equality, then you're a feminist. Men and women, likewise.

Say AYE if you're a feminist!

Peace out, y'all! :D

Friday, 19 October 2012

Is change always a good thing?

In this ever dynamic life, change is inevitable. Change will happen, if not once then twice in your life. One simply cannot cheat change and live a monotonous lifestyle. As soon as God said "Let there be light", change was embedded in every single fibre of our bodies. It is in our natural state to change. Is constant change always a celebrated thing?

As human beings, change has always been a part of our lives. From the start of time, change has been present. We have progressed from the Dark Ages to where we are now. We have grown from a conservative society to a fairly liberal one. Change is progressive. Change promotes betterment. The natural human state would be to continue to improvise. In this case, change would be a positive one.

When someone says "you have changed", does it imply that you have genuinely grown into a better person or if you have stopped living the way that someone would like you to?
Sometimes change promotes submission. In certain societies, one is not allowed to question the norms and continue to change. However, change itself would overcome suppression. A revolutionary change from the clutches of oppression is always a good thing. 
Change inhibits change but it promotes change. 
Change is in every fibre of its meaning ironic and cliché!

Change is so mainstream that it cannot be changed. Would a comfortable life be achieved when one stops changing? God created the Earth for a purpose. For us to live in. Ignorance towards change and being unaware of the Earth that was created are not the qualities of a progressive, liberal-minded being. We have grown so much as a society that it would be a shame to stop growing and to live life now the way it is. There is so much more to discover and explore. If there is room for improvement, then there should be room for change.

Change can't always be good now, can it? Once upon a time, when we were introduced to the word communism, we rejected its idea right away. Not all of us rejected it though. Countries such as China and Russia continued to adopt the idea and changed their form of governing. we have now see the effects of that change. However, we are allowed to know that certain decisions were not made wisely. After all, we are human beings. We are allowed to realise that a certain type of change might be negative. But then again, we need change to change.

Change is a beautiful thing. it is part and parcel of being human. Progression, betterment, growth, these are all essences of change. It is undeniable that these essences are of the essence of life. The wheel is always moving, someday you're up, someday you're down. 

However, everything changes but change itself. :)

I wrote this for English class, and my English teacher said I had a writing style of a magazine writer. I do not know whether I should feel flattered. 
Peace out, Y'ALL!

Saturday, 6 October 2012

How can you go on?

I am sick. I am so SICK. I am exhausted of listening to stories about this cruel, CRUEL world. 

How can we live while at the other end of the world a woman is going through abuse? How can we eat peacefully knowing that a marriage between a 14 years old girl and 40 years old man is being celebrated? How can we sleep knowing there's a woman out there in tears because she was slapped by her husband for smiling at another man? 

How can we go on when we know that stoning is still being practised in broad daylight?

The number of untold criminal acts that go on in the world towards women is uncountable. Especially in the Arabic countries. Stoning of women to death, wife beating, child marriages. All these go behind closed doors.

What does it feel like to be helpless in such a situation? To scream but not to be heard. I wonder, are they tired of screaming, of crying? Of wishing they were never alive?
I've ju
st watched a movie, a very depressing one. I cried and cried like a baby, because I could feel their pain. Being helpless, without anyone standing up for them. The Stoning of Soraya M. You have to watch this movie, any person for humanity should watch this movie. Their practices are simply cruel and inhumane. One would cry just watching their pain.

It is based on a true story. It happens. Yes, they do.
This is the clip from the movie, the part where they stone her to death. I couldn't stop crying at this part. To fully understand the clip, I've included the link on YouTube to the full movie. Watch the full movie if you want to understand the clip. :(

Sunday, 30 September 2012



Saturday, 8 September 2012

Ladies under 18, beware.

We have two rapists walking among us. They have been released after committing statutory rape.

A national bowler and an electrician. Both had the charges dropped because of various reasons, one of it being that they were on good behaviour. How stupid can these judges get? 

Friday, 20 July 2012

This too shall pass

I know I can be a better person than this. I'm letting myself falter under change and the ability to adapt. I'm letting the devil inside me take over. And I'm not happy...with myself. It is not difficult really, all it takes is my determination to live a positive lifestyle.

I find that I'm not becoming a better person. I need to be kinder, slower on my judgement, friendlier and most importantly less harsh on myself for when I make a mistake. Yes, I do have self-reflecting thoughts before I go to bed. It helps me identify the things that make me unhappy or unsatisfied.

And right now, I'm only unhappy with myself.

I used to be the girl who could speak up in public without thinking about what others thought about me, I used to be the girl who could walk down the hall with confidence, I used to be the girl who LOVED people first then get to know them.

What the hell is wrong with me?

Sometimes I'm laughing like mad, sometimes I'm at the bottom of the wheel and I find myself cranky and angry at the rest of the world.

I always tell myself "If you have time to whine/complain about something, you have the time to do something about it"


And the better person I will be. 

Wednesday, 4 July 2012

Punishing the victim? unjust ruling against S.Kalaichelvi

I am sad and disappointed in the Malaysian judicial system. The system that punishes its victims and gets away with it. This incident happened last year and I found out about this today when a picture depicting the story of this woman went viral on Facebook today. My first reaction: I was appalled! Here's the newspaper report on S. Kalaichelvi a 24 year old woman who defended herself against a potential rapist.

IPOH: A 24-year-old housewife was sentenced to two years’ jail for culpable homicide for killing a man who allegedly repeatedly pressured her to have sex.
High Court judge Justice Zainal Adzam Abd Ghani found S. Kalaichelvi guilty of killing M. Kumaran, 30, at her home in Taman Bistari, Ayer Tawar, on Jan 7 last year between 3am and 3.30am.
”According to the facts of the case, the act was done in a cruel manner.
”The accused had also tried to dispose of the evidence after killing him with a stainless steel parang and a rod,” he said in his judgment here yesterday.
The prosecution had amended the charge from Section 302 of the Penal Code for murder which carries the mandatory death penalty to Section 304A for causing death by negligence.
The latter charge carries a maximum two years’ jail or a fine, or both upon conviction.
Justice Zainal Adzam ruled that the sentence would run from the date of her arrest on Jan 10 last year.
According to the facts of the case, Kalaichelvi had killed Kumaran using both weapons in self-defence.
During mitigation earlier, defence counsel Charan Singh said Kalaichelvi had acted in self-defence when Kumaran broke into her house and demanded that he “sleep with her”.
“Kalaichelvi was also pregnant at the time and was only protecting herself.
“She is a mother of three children, aged one, five and six,” Charan Singh said, adding that Kalaichelvi was also a first-time offender.
Deputy Public Prosecutor Nur Laila Mohamed Nazil said a post mortem report showed that there were multiple slash wounds on the deceased’s head.
“The accused hacked the victim repeatedly on his head,” she said, urging the court to mete out a sentence commensurate with the offence.
Nur Laila also told the court that Kalaichelvi’s husband G. Kalipar, 26, would be charged under Section 201 for disposing of the evidence related to the killing.

Now you tell me something, when an unknown man breaks into your home in the middle of the night with the intention to rape you knowing that you are pregnant and that YOUR life and your baby's life is at stake, wouldn't you do all you can to save yourself? Won't you do all can to defend yourself against a rapist? If you ask me, he deserved the death. You don't go around terrorising women by raping them. If you do, be prepared to face the consequences. And in this case, death. HE DESERVED THIS. HE ASKED FOR IT.

The poor woman only defended herself and her baby! The judgement is unfair! She shouldn't have had been charged in the first place! WHAT BULLSHIT IS IN THE JUDGE'S HEAD?

We need to save this poor lady. This is UNJUST! I've never come across such a screwed up judgement before! We need to voice out against this! We need to protest against this! WE NEED TO ORGANIZE ONE. JUSTICE FOR S. KALAICHELVI!

Facebook page "we want justoce for S.Kalaichelvi"

Tuesday, 3 July 2012

Braces day 2

It took me a very long time to get out of bed today. I hated the fact that I had to use two types of toothbrushes. A soft one and the interdental one. The first time I tried brushing my teeth was last night. I was quite excited, because you know, you get excited when you use something new right? But gosh, I whimpered in bed today at the thought of brushing my teeth. So I decided to go back to sleep. I did that like many times until I couldn't stand trying to go back to sleep anymore. Also, I needed to pee. I cannot wash my face the way I used to before braces. I would purse my lips whenever I wash my face, hmm, a habit maybe. The time and energy spent on brushing my teeth, I'll probably get used to it. Flossing, that reminds me, I need to get a Super Floss(yeah, that's what they call it).

My mouth tastes of METAL. I keep thinking that nobody would KISS me for the next two years.

Eating was pure torture. It was like an episode of Me vs. Food! Last night my dad told me he'd buy some soft food back for me. I expected mashed potatoes, mushroom soup, etc etc. Imagine how disappointed I'd felt when he brought back McDonald's porridge and fries back for me! I hate porridge! I'm Indian! Porridge is tasteless to people like me! So I emptied three packets of black pepper into the porridge. It didn't turn it into a 5 star meal but it did make it taste a lot better.

Even DRIVING was pure torture with braces on! Yesterday I drove all the way to the mall to buy a lamp(for my new room!) after getting my braces done and instead of concentrating on driving, I kept checking the mirror to see if I looked alright with braces on. And the odd thing with braces is that you tend to make a lot of funny faces. So at the parking lot, this lady thought I was smiling at her and she walked as quickly as possible towards her car.

Oh gosh. I guess it takes some getting used to. Enough of my rantings for today. Hopefully the end result is good. I can't wait to see what I look like after braces! But that seems like ages away! :P

Here's a couple of pictures of me with braces on.


Saturday, 9 June 2012

Hurt and disappointed.

I am done with this. I've tried and tried, but what's the use when one hand claps and the other doesn't?

Seriously done with this. When I have to put in ALL the effort of keeping in touch thinking that there was actually SOMETHING when in fact, you don't even care. You've NEVER cared. You've NEVER wanted to care. What was I for then? If you never really wanted me in your life, why did you EVER talk to me in the first place? Maybe it is me, maybe I care too much about the people around me. Maybe I shouldn't ask too many questions. Maybe I shouldn't even bother anymore.
But that's one of my best qualities. I care. Maybe a little too much. But when I care for someone, I care with ALL my heart. it is not a duty or an obligation. It is in my nature. and that's why a lot of people love me for that.
So maybe a few of you wouldn't matter much.
NOPE, I care too much that I'm actually hurt you don't seem to care.
We had SO many memories together. But when you don't bother anymore even when I've put in all my effort to save this, then maybe I should just let it go. Why hurt myself any further right?

I'm such a lame idiot.
If you were to call me tomorrow, I'd still treat you the same. And I'll never ever have the guts to tell you that you've hurt me THAT much.
yes, I think about how you don't care anymore DAY AND NIGHT. because we were once so close that I cannot believe you're the same person who doesn't care about me anymore.

Friday, 8 June 2012


So you know I have a thing for blazers right? It would be more appropriate for me to post about blazers rather than "random thoughts, rantings and life." But, OH WELL, who cares! do you? ;)

So, to "fulfill" that requirement, I've decided to have a post on my mom's vintage blazer! :) not exactly vintage, from the 90s. So, here we go.

I thought of pairing my blazer with a skirt today, I usually pair it with shorts because I'm too lazy to wear a skirt. But I guess it looks like a 90s look when paired with my mom's jeans skirt. I'm telling you, these jeans skirts are NOT comfortable! yes, if you have curves(like me!), it would look AWESOME on you, but it is NOT comfortable. It is figure hugging, kind of like wearing jeans I suppose.

Jeans and I DO NOT get along well. But I like this look. It has a very 90s feel to it. How many times have I said that again? =,=


Thursday, 7 June 2012

Another ending

So another chapter of my life has been closed. Remember how I started college? Now I'm out after just one month. My parents HATE that place.

I don't find it so bad. Staying alone in a strange, miserable city? I'm damn well strong to have had survived that. Kuala Lumpur wasn't how I remembered it to be. It is dirty, everything is in a rush, you cannot stop time and contemplate on life there. And yet I survived. I just didn't want KL to suck me in you know, be some sort of walking zombie. I don't know if I want to live in the city anymore. But if there was one thing for sure, i surely want to live alone. I like being independent.

Here's what my mom told a friend of hers about what she thinks of me:
"My daughters are different in their own way. but Manpreet has a mind of her own. She doesn't tell me anything and yet she's so focused in life, she has goals and she works towards it. But she's too independent. I wish she'd tell me more." Not the exact quote, but how I remember her saying it.

I'll be starting Cambridge A-level at another college, KYUEM. KYUEM is the TOP college in Malaysia for A levels FYI. It is ranked third in Asia.
I'm afraid, yes. I wasn't afraid for my previous college but I'm afraid for this one. I don't know what to expect for this one. We have a uniform for formal events(from what I've heard), and my biggest nightmare, two pieces are not allowed at their swimming pool. WHATTTTTT AM I GOING TO WEARR!! a one piece?? So I can look like a stuffed panda in a jail suit(inside joke with Phareeshta). I HATE ONE PIECES!!

a one piece swimsuit looks like this:

I cannot wear that! It DOES NOT flatter my body image! WHAT AM I GOING TO DO. I'll put on my shorts with that and swim and I'll look like some FREAK.

I'm afraid maybe because KYUEM is like boarding school style. It is something I'm not familiar with. I've always dreaded boarding schools. What made me accept KYUEM was because the boarding school style was a lot like the British boarding schools. Even the lecturers there are mostly expats, 80% of them are expats. Not that it was the deciding factor in me agreeing to KYUEM but it made me wonder about why these people would leave their comfortable lives in Britian and live on campus. YES they live on campus!

Oh well, at least I get to wear formal clothes to classes, I LOVE formal clothes. Now I have an excuse to buy more formal clothes! :D


Friday, 11 May 2012

The filled void

"well... why won't you believe God exists? have you ever wondered why you're living in this world? have you ever ask yourself what is the purpose in life? is it really just to grow to study to work to eat to survive to take care of your parents and die? DO YOU FEEL EMPTY AT THE END OF THE DAY? it's something u cant explain.it's because you don't know of this thing called LOVE. and GOD IS LOVE. when you experience this love, you'll never wanna leave this presence."

I almost cried. I've never been loved so much, I've never loved someone so much.

"You have to KNOW God to love Him"

I loved God as soon as I found Him. He was there with me at my darkest moments and now I'm not going to leave the hand that reached out to me and gave me sanity in the most insane moments.

Yes I will tell the world. I want to shout it out! Let the world know of Your love, Your everlasting love, Your infinite love.

I chose this, I chose You God, to help me, to guide me, to be with me. And I know You love me so.

Thursday, 10 May 2012


I want to talk about something. I want to talk about God actually, about God's presence in my life. Although I don't really know where to start.

I definitely feel blessed.

I feel at peace with myself.

I feel like God has once again done something amazing in my life. I am ever so grateful for everything. It feels GREAT to know that God cares. God cares! Something amazing happened to me today. I asked God for a little but He gave me SO MUCH. :) Now I'm looking forward to tomorrow, and the day after, and the next week, and the next month. GREAT THINGS ARE HAPPENING. All in just one week!  

When you love God with all your heart, you know you are being protected. Somehow or rather, that little voice in you seems like God is talking to you. At least that is how I feel.

I just want to talk, talk about the greatness of God. Even if the whole world turns against me, I won't feel that way because I know God will never give up on me.

God hasn't given up on you either.

I will never be alone as long as I have God by my side.

I may not be the most spiritual, or the person with the least sins, but I do know that NO ONE can take away the relationship I have with God. NO ONE.

Friday, 4 May 2012

Blogging helps me cool off.

AAAAAAH, I'm very sorry about the blog post bomb. Blogging always helps set my mind straight.

What I wanted to say was, I like the independence, I like living on my own. I don't miss home or Johor Bahru. I miss petty things like my bed, and maybe home-cooked meals(but that is a very small matter because I can get Indian food anywhere, and as long as I have a bed to sleep on, then I'm grateful). Maybe this is what I am, maybe I've never been a family person after all. Maybe I'm one of those people who like working from 9-5(workaholics). Maybe. I don't know when I'll start missing them, but I don't think I will miss them anytime soon. I'm enjoying my new-found independence and freedom.

Some people tell me that I can never live on my own because I've never lived on my own before. But hey, GUESS WHAT, there's a first time for everything. I too need to learn how to live on my own, and if I make mistakes, they are MY mistakes which YOU don't have the right to pick on. But I will learn from my mistakes. You don't have to bother. I'm warning you people out there who try to mess with me or my parents' heads saying that there are a lot of dangerous people out there. DO NOT TRY TO MESS WITH ME. I have a few people in mind who are trying to get to my parents' heads saying that it is a dangerous world for a girl to live in and that I belong in my parents' home. I WILL CUT YOU. I am not the kind of girl to listen to this shit. You can talk to my parents about this, but you don't have the GUTS to say in front of me. I AM WARNING YOU RIGHT NOW.

For those of you who don't know, I am in college in the city(Kuala Lumpur). There are a lot of International students here but they do not disturb me at all.


Sometimes I think, if I was a boy, would they treat me differently?

Please, parents, children need your understanding and support. Not for you to create war against them. They need you to trust them. They need you to believe them. They need you to let them do what they do best.

I've made it a point to NEVER have children, because I would never want to treat my children that way. And if I DO have children, they'll always have my support even if I'm not happy with what they're doing, because their happiness matters most. As long as they're happy with what they're doing or what they are, I will be forever grateful to God for such blissful children. I'll never condemn what they're doing, because I love them. Their happiness comes first.

I would teach them the right things. I'd teach them to respect everyone, but to respect themselves most. Self-respect is the most important which shouldn't be sold to anyone. I'd teach them to stand up for others, to stand up against discrimination. I'd teach them to be forever kind.

Maybe that's what humanity is about, forever improving on what your parents were.

walking on a thread.

Nothing is certain that's for sure. My life isn't certain, my future isn't certain. I used to think I had my parents' support, but now I realise that I'm on my own. What is the money when they can't support you for who you are? When they can't accept you for who you are? I thought they had my back, no that's a lie, I've always known that they never supported me, they only want me to be what THEY want me to be.

I am mentally unstable thinking they never wanted me to be whoever I want to be but what they see me as. Sure they think only the best for me, but I'll never be happy if I'm someone I'm not.

Sometimes I think, if I was a boy, would they treat me differently?

Monday, 30 April 2012


Words can sting really badly if you're not careful with them. This picture is relevant because i've experienced what it is like to be hurt by words.
As the victim, you would want to hurt that person with your words as a punishment, just so that person can understand what you felt.
but let me tell you this, it is not worth it. done it myself, two wrongs DON'T make a right.
You'll feel terrible, knowing that you're no better than that person, the one that hurt you.

that's my new mantra.
stress isn't good. stress is a KILLER.


Saturday, 21 April 2012

current wallpaper

I've been thinking a lot about life and death recently due to certain events. I've always wondered what heaven was like. There must be millions of people(souls) in heaven. I wonder if they get to see God, have a cup of tea and talk a bit. I wonder if heaven is in between the spaces of space. Where is heaven? I wish I can get over this phase because I've become very quiet and solemn. I don't feel the same way, am I changing?

thoughts aside, THIS is my current wallpaper:

ALSO, this is a very useful quote whenever you feel insulted:


Wednesday, 11 April 2012


NOTHING can beat the moment when my parents shed tears of joy over my SPM results.

Two days before the results were out, I locked myself in the room and deactivated my Facebook account. I was too stressed out myself to look at other people stressing out. I remember crying myself to sleep, MANY TIMES. Then one day before the results came out, my mom took me out. I had been crying so much that I'd forgotten how to smile. After that my mom took me to my favourite teacher's house and I felt A LOT BETTER after that.

I was so scared, so nervous. I REALLY didn't know what to expect. I remember thinking to myself that I'd done my best, I worked hard, there was nothing else I could do but pray.

So pray was what I did. I prayed myself to sleep, I prayed during dinner, I prayed on the way to school, I prayed at EVERY opportunity.

God is good. Seriously. God amazes me.

On that day, I felt too weak to even get out of bed. I looked at myself in the mirror and I saw a total mess. My hair was messy, my eyes were puffy, I suddenly had gigantic pimples overnight, I looked terrible. but I couldn't care less.

My dad followed me to school. My mom was already there. And she knew my results already, I could tell. 5 minutes before I received my results I went to see my parents. I saw tears in my dad's eyes. My mom was grinning at me. I'm so stupid, I thought it was because I didn't do well. I started crying and yelling and I said "I know you know my results, TELL ME now, I cannot do this anymore, PLEASE JUST TELL ME!"

to which my mom said, "no, you collect your results by yourself. Face life, Manpreet, face it."

So when I collected my results, I remember there was this very weird feeling, I felt like I could faint at any moment. There was this HUGE ball stuck in my throat, my heart was about to burst out of my rib cage, my eyes were watery.

I couldn't look at it, my results. When I did, I saw SO many A+es and I started hyperventilating. My father started crying out of joy and my mother hugged me. I was crying, laughing, hyperventilating. My mind was confused, I was confused. I didn't even look at the subjects I scored A+es for.

SO YES, I did it, 8A+, 1As, 1A-. I got an A- for physics and A for Economics.  Physics has always been my weakest subject, so I don't mind. 
I am only thankful, grateful to SO MANY PEOPLE. but I'm most thankful for God's blessings. :)


Tuesday, 27 March 2012

roaring red.

I hate wearing pants. But I made an exception this time. I've still got my holiday mood on. At the country club.

Wednesday, 14 March 2012

11 random things about me.

  1. I really love dogs. they're cute. Everytime I see a dog, I go awwwww. Someday, someday I'll get a dog. I'll probably get one from the dog shelter. Give a dog a life. :)
  2. I'm part Brahmin. My grandmother is a full Brahmin. Yes, those people you learn about in History. YEAP. I'm suppose to be this holy, vegetarian person. If you're a Brahmin then you're in the MOST ELITE class. Everybody respects you. BIG WOOSH.
  3. I LOVE POTATOES. mashed potatoes, fried potatoes, boiled potatoes, baked potatoes, grilled potatoes. I can live on potatoes.
  4. The only animals I eat are chicken and fish. Not a lot of chicken. I probably eat chicken like once in two to three weeks? YES. no pork, mutton, prawns, crabs, or whatever other animals you people eat. I just can't bring myself to eat other animals.
  5. My fondest memories would be getting my results for PMR and SPM(straight As) and sleepovers with my bestie. Also, another VERY fond memory would be the 6/09/2006 the day Priety was born. It was also the last day of UPSR. :)
  6. The best thing I've ever eaten was palak paneer from Chakra. I'm a sucker for north Indian food. They also had butter chicken, which I can't seem to find on the menu anymore.
  7. In 10 years time I'll be 28. I want to see myself settled down in a big city living the city life with lots of friends around. I want a condominium lot. I'll probably have a roomie. And hopefully I'll get that dog I've always wanted. I see myself as a successful, inspiring, positive person in a huge city. And if I have my own TV show that would be a bonus. :D Also, by this age I hope to be done with travelling around the world.
  8. In 20 years time I'll be 38. I see myself travelling to Africa and adopting a child from Africa. Then I'm going to adopt a child from Nepal. Then we'll settle down in USA and live a happy life together. :) When my adopted children are all grown up, I'll have a foster care system where I adopt 15-16 years old kids, because nobody wants a teenage kid to adopt. hopefully I can enlighten their lives with my shine.
  9. My biggest fear is of the dark. Until now I still sleep with the light on. I have my own room, yes. When I sleep alone, I need the light on.
  10. I HATE HAUNTED STORIES, HORROR MOVIES or whatever that has to do with the unknown. THEY FREAK ME OUT AND I CAN'T SLEEP.
  11. If I had superpowers, I'd want the mastery of time and healing powers so I can heal all those with cancer.


Friday, 9 March 2012

a woman's life

As soon as a baby girl is born, she's given her father's surname. If I ever have children(which I don't intend to have because I do not want any), I would give it MY SURNAME. YEAH. I carried it for 9 freaking months. Went through lots of shit. But at the end of the day I'm not given any credit? He is not the head of the family, we BOTH ARE. Tell me, what did he do, stand around and give the woman some support as she goes through all that pain. I don't know how painful it is, but I do know that if it is worse than menstruation cramps, then you had BETTER give your woman some credit and name the baby with her surname. Not to mention the post-pregnancy effects. gain of weight, depression, lack of confidence, it takes the fun out of baby making and the continuation of life. So give the woman some respect and give the baby her surname. Who made you boss? Who gave you the right to give the baby your surname? YOUR EGO DID I SUPPOSE. Ladies, if he doesn't help around or isn't involved in raising your child, tell him! Don't sit there and suffer in silence! Ask and you WILL receive, YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO. After all that trouble, you deserve a break! You deserve to feel pampered and not pressured.

When I was a little kid about the age of 4 or 5, I took my shirt off and walked around the house like my dad did. My mom didn't exactly scold me, but she told me it wasn't right. I never knew why then, and I still don't know why I couldn't do it. So you see, I've been a feminist since I was a little girl.

Think about it, women all over the world are consider second to men. politics, men rule. Banking, men rule. Religion, men rule(I refuse to belive that God is unjust and one-sided).

All my life I've done things to prove to myself that I'm as good as any man is and better. The other day, I assembled a machine all by myself as I saw the awe in my (traditional) grandmother's eyes. My dad even called me the man of the house.

I HATE THAT PHRASE "MAN OF THE HOUSE". It potrays a man being strong and a leader. I know, I know, studies have shown that men are stronger physically but guess what, women are stronger mentally. I'd rather have my definition of strong be "stronger mentally" and so guess what? I'm the WOMAN OF THE HOUSE.

Why would you call something where the gender is unknown a "he". Why do you call God "he"? When the gender is unknown call it an "it"! Now of course you can't call God "it" so why can't you call God "she". "I love God. She showers me with blessings everyday" Sounds wrong? So why does "I love God. He showers me with blessings everyday" sound so right? God is fair. I know She is(do you have a problem with that? don't tell me because I don't care).

 AND WHAT IS THIS VICTIM BLAMING CRAP WHEN A WOMAN IS RAPED?? She did not ask for it, YOU FORCED YOURSELF ON HER. Don't tell me how to dress, don't tell me not to go out at night because it is dangerous out there for a woman, don't tell me I have no control over my body. and most importantly DO NOT IMPOSE LAWS TELLING ME I CAN'T CHOOSE TO HAVE A CHILD IF I DON'T WANT TO. It is MY BODY, not the government's body, not my family's body, not my partner's body. Now I do not support abortion, but I believe that a woman has control over her body. It should be purely her choice.

a woman's life is sweet, it is beautiful. It shouldn't be lived in fear or of any lesser of a man's. A woman's life is hers. She controls it. She makes her own decisions. She doesn't let anyone bring her down because she's a woman and yet she still has to work hard to prove herself.

Do not be the opressed voice in your community. Do not regard yourself as the second one. whether you're a daughter, sister, wife, mother, grandmother, you deserve to be treated with respect and equally. You're not here to "compliment" a man. LIVE YOUR OWN LIFE WITH BRIGHTNESS AND POSITIVITY. LOVE BEING A WOMAN. Be grateful that you exist because the world wouldn't function without you.
Your gender DOES NOT define the life you live. So be proud of who and what you are.
As a woman, you're beautiful.

this video fuelled my anger for today and that's why I typed this post out.



I haven't been to Penang in a very long time. My last memory of it was that it was a HOT HOT place. It still is, it was like stepping into hell. A few days ago I took a flight from JB to Penang, ALONE. It was my first trip alone and I was pretty excited. I had to board the plane at 7.00 am. Most of you know I am NOT an early riser. I like to SKIP my mornings. BUT since I was pretty excited, that didn't bother at all.
I must tell you, flying solo is very different. My excitement changed to worry then fear while flying and finally relief when I finally landed. I usually don't get these feelings when I fly, but I guess it is different when you are alone.

So anyway, my cousins and I went on a roadtrip around penang the next day. We borrowed my uncle's car and took the ferry. It was an awkward morning so by the time we left for penang again my excitement wasn't as much as before. We waited for about 2 hours for a ferry! But it was worth it because my cousins(Raj Pal and Sonia) and I managed to see jellyfishes. I SAW ONE JELLYFISH. But it was all brown and spotty due to the water pollution(EWWWW). The last time we visited Penang, there were MORE jellyfishes. here are some pictures on the ferry. :)

the shirt. :P
hello jellyfishes!

raj pal's face.

nawww. the sibling love.

penang char kuey teow is famous worldwide. this chap here has the best CKT. i don't know about you guys out there, but i like my CKT dry with a hint of moist and flavoured to the max, INDIAN STYLE. :P mine was extra spicy without prawns, taugeh, kucai, kerang and yeah, so it was plain CKT with some egg. and i enjoyed it!

our chef wore black goggles to protect his eyes from the hot, hot oil. look at him posing! so cute!

yeah, that's a part of Penang behind me.

this picture is epic. no description needed cause we're awesome like that.

so yeah, i had a great time despite the fact that we watched a movie and it was so violent and emotions were running high. I started crying at the next half of the movie. I couldn't stop crying. I think I like air in Penang, it is so relaxed. The people there actually smile at you. So yeah, if I had to live there, I would. I think I would prefer Penang compared to KL.