if you can't handle my PINKNESS, then you shouldn't be here

if you can't handle my PINKNESS, then you shouldn't be here
loves all things pink


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I live life enjoying as much as possible by enjoying the outdoors, savouring dinner with the family, having fun with friends, or seeing my little sister smile. I understand the value of a penny and that hard work pays off. I am very ambitious and driven and have set goals for myself to achieve. I can be very serious but yet I have a fun personality to have a good time. I feel that life is a huge journey and the key to a successful life is to live in the moment and not dwell on the past! i am an optimist. I'm a hopeless romantic and a dreamer. I love to just go outside and contemplate life while I feel the breeze in my hair and the sun kiss my cheeks! I hope to travel the world one day because there is so much beauty to see in the world. i get bored easily(something i'm not proud of). I am a huge roller coaster and adrenalin junkie and I just love life! i'm a great public speaker. i'm a person who tries to be the best i can be. :D i am also a feminist. a HUGE fan of oprah winfrey. lastly, i'm going to be a history maker.

Monday, 3 June 2013

Life summed up

There's a lot of pain and a lot of hurt. She is being dissipated into the gulf of terror. It is consuming her from the inside. She tries to scream but she can't be heard. She tries to move but she is pinned down. She tries to breathe but a hand is suffocating her.

She looks at this hand. Red like her perpetrator's bloodshot eyes. Her brain is numb and her throat dry. All she can do is wriggle in that pinned down position.

She wants to reach out, and she does, but nobody is helping her. She looks around. Some are in worse pain than her.

She then looks down. Her hand is on someone else's chest. A man, she's ripping his heart off his chest. She doesn't understand and yet she doesn't care. It is obvious he is in much pain. At a lower position in this human hierarchy, he's not going to be able to survive that much pain and hurt.

She looks up again, the pain and hurt gets less and she longs to climb her way up. She tries to move again, she tries to push the hand on her chest away. She claws this hand but it didn't budge, not even a little.

She starts to struggle frantically and her screams were silent. Her tears were tears of blood. All that pain, misery and hurt.

At the verge of giving up, she sees a man. He is free, free from the hierarchy, he is happy. But he's naked. She doesn't understand, but she starts to remove her clothes and the chains around her arms, feet and torso.

She leaves the man below her hanging and the man above her desperately tries to cling on to her. But as she removes her clothes, she's removing all the pain inflicted upon her and the guilt from inflicting it upon others. The red man then reaches for another woman and does the same as what he did to her.

She is naked, but she is free. And she can breathe. She can laugh. She feels the laughter roll out of her lips like a mother greeting her firstborn. Her tears are crystal; a sign of compassion. She feels the warmth in her cheeks return. She looks at this chain of people and the misery they are putting each other through. She feels for them, she wants to save them all.

She tries yelling at them, but they just won't listen. They are engulfed in their own pain and misery. 

"They won't listen," She gasps as she was caught by surprise. She turns around to see that it was the naked man earlier. "They like the pain and hurt, or one would think that they would at least look at us and see how free we are," she gives him a confused look. "None of them have the willpower to breakthrough this chain of misery and despair. Their quest for materialistic means have completely eaten them inside out. We can't save them, only they can save themselves."

She looks back at this chain and sees people hurting each other. None of them are helping anyone, they're all trying not to get to the bottom of the hierarchy and she can't help but feel sorry for them all.


I remember how I was kayaking once around the mangrove, and there was a snake on the tree. I remember distinctively what it looked like, black with yellow spots (yes that stupid black and yellow song was playing on my mind at that time), and it was poisonous. Yes I was aware that if you got bitten the kayak people know what to do. In an attempt to show a friend the snake on the tree, I think I got a little excited, because he couldn't see the snake on the branch but I could. I somehow or rather wanted him to see the snake really badly, maybe it was that sense of relativity. You know how you like to be able to relate with people. Yeah. 

I don't know how but I think while trying to desperately show him the snake, I wasn't controlling my kayak and started drifting towards the tree. I didn't think much of it at first because I was quite relieved I was under the shadow of the tree. But when I realized I was right under the snake, I panicked. 

My heart was beating in my throat. I tried to calm myself down, I really did try. But it was so overwhelming that I started kayaking like a mad woman and everyone knows that if you're not steady while kayaking, the kayak won't really move anywhere. So at that moment I remembered this, and I desperately tried to stay calm. I remember how I couldn't breathe until I was far away from the tree, it felt like forever, the time I was holding my breath.

I think I almost cried, because I was so relieved I was out of danger, although it was probably nothing because the snake was probably sleeping on the branch.

Fear drove me to react in such a way and I was somewhat ashamed I had let fear drive me in such a way because I take pride in the fact that nothing will be able to scare me. Except the supernatural, dangerous animals and dangerous situations. Well, I've gotten over the fear of people, so that's an achievement I can be proud of.

But that moment under the tree, that panicky and my desperately trying to stay calm moment, I will never forget that. It made me rethink of my fears and how it will never actually get me anywhere. It literally didn't get me anywhere, haha, because the kayak hardly moved when I tried kayaking at a really fast pace!

Well, kayaking was fun, although after two hours my arms really hurt and my skin got really red because i was sunburned(especially my nose).