The loneliness strikes me like darkness strikes the wolf. My cries of anguish only heard by the moon. How does one feel so vulnerable and lonely in a room full of people, jubilant and yet so ignorant to your cries?
The transition from happiness to loneliness is so real and so painful. Every bit of feeling that keeps you alive is drained and leaves you hanging in the air, desperately grasping for something you could hold on to.
I can't feel anymore. I had a second of happiness earlier, but it felt like it was grabbed away from me. When happiness is grabbed away, it leaves a hole, which turns into a black-hole that drains everything out, and you feel numb again.
Numbness. It can be comforting, it can be depressing. It is there, it is always there with me, feels like my only true companion.Maybe you know loneliness as well, maybe it is your only companion, or maybe you used to know loneliness.Then you would know the comfort, solidarity and sense of security it gives you. Like when a mother puts her child to sleep, or when she holds you close to her bosom, that sense of security, only it doesn't liberate, it doesn't give you the freedom to be blissful.
But even with that sense of security, it is difficult to feel alive again.
Sometimes I have to pinch myself to remind myself that I am real, I am here, and I will get over it.